Standards are what you do for yourself or behaviours to which you
willingly adhere. To live without standards is to place yourself at
the whims of chance, others, and the world. Here are ten areas in
which it is useful to have standards, along with some suggestions as
to how to get started.
1. Honesty.
Being honest with yourself and others is a source of power. Being
honest means that no one can call your bluff. In setting a standard
of honesty, ask yourself: "When do I tell the truth, the whole
truth? When I do remain silent? Under what conditions is it
appropriate to tell another person only what I know he/she is ready
to accept?"
2. Integrity.
Integrity is living a value-based life. Integrity is broader and
more inclusive than honesty. To gauge your standard of integrity,
ask yourself: "What is my 'bottom line'--the bedrock standard that
covers what I will do or not do irrespective of external pressures?"
Integrity is the basis of authentic being and true friendship.
3. Power.
Power enables you to act, to maintain your integrity and honesty,
and to enforce your standards. Ask yourself: "What is the source of
my power? Is my power derived from within (self-referral) or from
outside (object-referral)?" The closer you are able to move towards
self-referral, the more reliable your power will be.
4. Commitment.
Your commitment is a measure of your dedication to what you do
and believe in. Only full commitment offers a promise of excellence.
To commit only partially is to invite mediocrity. Ask yourself, with
respect to each aspect of your life, work and play: "What is my
level of commitment? What am I willing to commit to 100%?"
5. Acceptance.
Acceptance and approval are different. To approve (or disapprove)
is to judge. To accept is to recognize and acknowledge what IS.
Acceptance eliminates the need to judge and quiets the mind. Ask
yourself: "Am I willing to accept (not approve) others, situations,
life, etc. as they are or it is? What am I not willing to accept?"
It's interesting to note that accepting a situation "as is" does not
forfeit your right to change it.
6. Tolerance.
Tolerance has both negative and positive connotations. On the one
hand is the question of what we are willing to 'put up with' in
life; on the other, are issues pertaining to what we are willing to
forgive. Both are important. Ask yourself: "What am I tolerating
that limits my growth or happiness? What am I 'allowing' that aids
my own or others' growth or healing?"
7. Pace.
Horses and marathoners have pace--a rhythmic style that makes
trotting and running seem easy. Pace is measured relaxed action.
Many of us lack pace in our lives. For each endeavor in which you
are engaged, ask yourself: "What is the pace at which I feel
entirely comfortable? Am I willing to adhere to it despite pressures
to the contrary?"
8. Reserve.
Reserve is a margin, the gas in the tank or the cushion in the
account. To have reserve is to be freed from the demands of
circumstance or crisis. There are ten areas of reserve. Ask
yourself: "What are my reserves of time, space, money, energy,
opportunity, love, information, wisdom, self, and integrity?"
9. Fitness.
Fitness is physical, mental, and spiritual. To be "fit" is to be
more than prepared to deal with what comes at you. Fitness is a
process whereby we create reserves of energy. Ask yourself: "What
are my standards for physical (aerobic & muscular), mental
(intellectual & emotional), and spiritual fitness?" What is the
minimum level of performance in each of these areas that I am
willing to accept?" (In the area of spiritual fitness, you may want
to look at Top Ten list number 21, "Ten Ways to Tell When You're in
Alignment")
10. Communication/Relationships
While the journey into and beyond this life is a solo one, we
live in concert with others. The standards we maintain with respect
to how we communicate and what is the basis of our relationships are
critical in determining the success with which we negotiate this
journey. Ask yourself: "What is my basis for communicating with
others? Am I direct, indirect, or a combination of the two? On what
are my relationships based (need, mutuality, giving)? What am I
willing to give to others? What do I expect to receive in return?"
