When you're feeling stuck, take a moment to ask yourself what you
really mean. The following are some possibilities:
1. I'm afraid.
2. I'm overwhelmed.
3. I can't see an easier way to do it the way I want to.
4. Someone else needs to change, not me.
5. I'm more comfortable being miserable than not knowing
what's next.
6. I keep trying the same thing and I can't get the
results I want.
7. I don't want to deal with this right now.
8. I'm too ***, to handle this.
9. It's not my responsibility.
10. I don't want to let go.
If you are feeling stuck, you’ve got only yourself to thank. It means you
missed signs that a change was due - either in your actions or your thinking
(usually both). You ignored the signs that were loudly screaming, "No, try
something else!"— not necessarily a new job, but a new strategy, tack, or
latent skill.
If you feel stuck, there is always a link to boundaries and energy drains
too: somewhere along the way you decided to put up with a lot—for whatever
reason—and you have started sinking deeper and deeper into the Unconscious
Zone. This is the place where you lie down and let life run over you; you
ignore what you know is true because it is easier to put up with it than to
actually DO something about it.
You missed the message. It turned into a problem, and you still ignored
it. Then it became a lesson you did not learn, so now you’ve got a crisis on
your hands. You’re unhappy, and that affects everything in your life. You probably could make a very strong case about why things are the way
they are, and a list a mile long of who is to blame. Of course, if your name
is on it at all, it’s only penciled in.
OK; that’s enough browbeating. It’s time to do something about it. You
haven’t been giving yourself your best lately, but now is the time to start.
I want your best, or I want nothing. No; I take it back. You were doing the
best you could—but now is the time to go for it. Are you ready?
First, we need to take a look at the clutter you have let build up in
your life—the stuff you have put up with that we are going to deem
unacceptable in about two minutes. All that stuff is like tar on a hot road,
making your feet stick to the pavement. It’s slowing you down and holding
you back. That stuff could be things you are unresolved about from the past,
certain present circumstances or damaging influences that you have chosen to
endure. This is exactly what is keeping you stuck. You’ll have to identify
this clutter and remove it to move on to greener pastures. And some of that
clutter relates to
relationships.
