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As human beings, we have wants and needs – we want to chart our own course
and we need assistance and respect from those around us. Boundaries are an
essential tool to build our lives, necessary steps in self-care and
self-development.
Boundaries are an imaginary line of protection that you draw around
you. This is done to protect you – physically/mentally/emotionally -
and what's important to you. You cannot grow without boundaries.
However, you can learn how to design, implement and manage boundaries
so that the process becomes effortless for you and for others.
Boundaries are about what others CANNOT do to you or around you.
Boundaries are about other's actions. If it has to do with how YOU
act, it's called a Standard. Boundaries have to do with what one deems
acceptable FROM another. Personal Standards are the other side of the
coin – they are what you deem acceptable from yourself.
If it has to do with something that another MUST do to or for you,
this is called a Requirement (and has to do with Needs). It is helpful
to understand the difference between these three. Just remember:
boundaries are what you establish to STOP people from doing certain
things to or around you.
KEY POINTS:
1. Boundaries help you define who you are and are not.
2. You need boundaries in order to be, and to be yourself.
3. You set boundaries by stopping others’ behaviour.
4. You extend boundaries by having courage.
5. You get the courage from being selfish (in the "good" sense).
6. You become selfish by caring about yourself.
When A Person Has Healthy Boundaries
