There is no such thing as "constructive" criticism. Criticism is always abrasive to interpersonal relationships. Yet, there are some people who consistently ask to be criticized. They may not use words to formally request it, but their actions regularly invite others to be critical of them.

Sometimes this criticism is done "behind their backs." Sometimes people have the courage to make their negative comments directly. Characteristic behavior that invites others to criticize has been 
classified into several "types" by Deborah Bright, author of the book, "Criticism In Your Life." Ms. Bright describes seven kinds of behaviors that constantly invite the negative criticism of others. She refers to those who regularly display these behaviors as "critiholics." These "types" include:

1. AGREEMENT BREAKERS. Agreement breakers are always undependable. They promise to be somewhere or do something, and then never show up or arrive late, or fail to "follow through" and do what they said they'd do. And they always have excuses or reasons for their breaking their agreements. Others' tolerance becomes worn down and they criticize.

2. POOR ORGANIZERS. These people invite criticism by overlooking  details, discounting the importance of order, defying rules designed to provide structure to "anarchy," and pay little attention to the needs of others. They inconvenience and annoy others at least until criticism is  received. Sometimes longer.

3. GO-GETTERS. The go-getter is one who is constantly piling upon  themselves new tasks and goals. They plan two dozen things they "have to do" while performing an activity they planned to do just a few minutes ago. They are "taskaholics" and "workaholics." They never stop. They are driven to constant activity and goal setting. The result is a lot of  unfinished business, poor work completion, a junky desk, and the attraction of criticism.

4. QUICK-DRAW CRITICIZERS. These critiholics are the first to  complain. And they tend to do it constantly. They complain about anything and  everything. No matter what you do or how you do it, they'll complain about it. Naturally this attracts retaliatory criticism.

5. OSTRICHES. These birds always seem to be mentally in another world...a world of their own. They are absent minded. They are off in their own world somewhere and often miss what goes on around them. More accurately stated, they ignore it. They keep their heads buried in the sand of their own fantasy. When trying to "contact" them in order to communicate with them, people become frustrated and critical.

6. REASSURANCE SEEKERS. These are the people who are always "putting themselves down" out loud. They are self-insulting and overtly self-critical. The purpose of their "self-downing" is to invite their listeners to disagree with them and reassure them that what they have said about themselves is not true. They want others to disagree with their negative self-deprecation. Often others fail to do so. They may even agree with the critiholic in their self-criticism. Such honest agreement is taken as criticism and they often feel hurt, even though they asked for it by their own self-criticism.

7. SOCIAL NORM VIOLATORS. These are the people who violate dress codes, accepted styles, cultural manners and standards of politeness. They often believe themselves to be exercising their "independence," or making some kind of "statement," when actually they are inviting people to criticize them. Their hair color or style, their outlandish dress (or lack of dress), their "weird" behavior often is attention-seeking. Usually, it gets them criticized. People who invite criticism to themselves often do so without being aware of it. When others become critical of them, they "just don't understand it," or they have their "feelings hurt", or they become resentful of others...especially their criticizers.

Let's face it. There are some people who just attract criticism by inviting it. But keep in mind, each of us always has the choice of whether or not we accept the critiholic's invitation and respond with criticism of our own.

 For The Top 10 Negative Ways People Handle Conflict & Possible Solutions send an email to bs@futurevisions.org with "MWS Bullying & Criticism Top 10" in the subject and nothing in the body

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