When you go out on
interviews, some people will like you and some people won't. Sometimes
you'll do well, and sometimes you won't. You can turn your failures into
successes if you keep several ideas in mind.
Don't put all your eggs
in one basket. You may need to go out on many interviews before you find
the right job. Pinning all your hopes on one job is foolish. You'll
pressure yourself too much, and it will feel like a catastrophe if you
don't get the job.
Your "batting average"
in a competitive job market may be only one offer in every ten interviews.
That means you'll have to endure an average of nine rejections for every
offer you get. But every rejection will take you one step closer to your
goal. The more rejections you get, the quicker you'll find a job. In fact,
you need all the rejections you can possibly get!
Don't base your
self-esteem on how well you do. Job interviewing, like golf or cooking, is
a skill you can develop-you can get better and better at it over a period
of time. Your success at it has nothing to do with what kind of a person
you are. People who do well on interviews are often poised and skillful,
but they're not more worthwhile human beings.
Don't blame yourself
for a rejection. You may be tempted to tell yourself that you're no good,
and you may feel as if you'll never get a job. Instead of putting yourself
down like this, try to learn from the situation. What are the specific
reasons you didn't get the job? Sometimes the person who interviewed you
will give you some feedback if you ask in a friendly way. Maybe you were
inexperienced; maybe you had good qualifications but they had to pick from
many qualified people; maybe you didn't interview well; maybe your skills
didn't match their needs; maybe it was politics and the daughter of the
company president got the job. If you can find out why you didn't get the
job, it usually takes the sting out of it because you won't feel so
worthless and defeated. If there's a specific reason, make a plan for what
to do next instead of giving up.
Don't blame someone
else for a rejection. Instead of blaming themselves, many people go to the
opposite extreme. They insist that life is unfair and blame the world.
Cynthia lost a public relations job at a New York hospital because she was
inexperienced and somewhat disorganized. After she interviewed
unsuccessfully for a new position with another hospital, she discovered
she had been the second choice among the candidates. Cynthia was furious
because she had her heart set on this job. She told me they hadn't given
her a fair shake and insisted they didn't understand her full potential.
When she later learned that the man they hired had ten years of successful
experience in public relations, she understood that being the second
choice was a compliment and a basis for optimism. She persisted in her job
search and ultimately landed an equally desirable position.
Think about rejections
as opportunities. When someone turns you down, don't get defensive or
annoyed. Instead, thank them for their time and ask them to keep you in
mind if something more suitable comes in the future. Most successful
people have learned that rejections will often turn into successes later
on. It's not wise to burn bridges or to view rejections as "the end."
Often a rejection is just the first awkward step in what later turns into
a productive, successful relationship.
An
offer you don't really want is worth its weight in gold. People only want
what they can't get, and they never want what they can get. What it boils
down to is this: trying to get the first offer can be tough. Since you're
what people can get, you're not in demand. But once you get an offer, even
if it's not the one you want, you can easily get many more offers. Since
you're what people can't get, you're in demand.
Let me give an example
of how this works. A divorced woman with two children applied for
admission to graduate school in psychology. Her options were limited to
programs in Chicago, where she lived, because she didn't want her kids to
have to change schools. She had her heart set on a highly competitive
program at the University of Chicago, but knew her chances for admission
were only marginal because of the large number of applicants. After her
interview, she was informed that she had not been selected for the
program, but she would be placed on a waiting list of alternate
candidates.
Six weeks later another
school, in a less desirable area and with only an average reputation,
called to tell her that she'd been admitted but without financial
assistance. She was told that she had to decide within two hours. Her
heart sank, because she still had the dream of attending the
University
of Chicago. She called me in a panic. She was distraught and wanted to
know what to do.
I explained that this
was her golden opportunity, and suggested that all she had to do was to
call the University of Chicago and tell them that she was under pressure
to accept an offer that very day from another school, so that if they were
interested in her they'd have to move quickly.
She was skeptical that
this would do any good, but she called the admissions office and explained
the situation to the secretary of one of the professors on the admissions
committee. Within ten minutes the professor called back to inform her that
they were extremely interested in her and if she would consider attending
the University of Chicago they would offer her free tuition plus a stipend
of $8,000 per year for living expenses. She immediately accepted and
ultimately received her doctorate there.
Why was she suddenly
accepted when she'd been ignored? Because she was in demand. They probably
thought that if someone else was pressuring her to accept an offer, she
was an incredibly desirable candidate. This made them want her as well:
It's basic human nature to want something that's a little beyond our
grasp, and this is true in school or job interviews.
This is why you should
court every suitor when you're applying for a position. Once you get an
offer, even if it's an unappealing one, you're over the biggest hurdle
because you're in demand. Leak this information to the people you're
interested in. Let other interviewers know that you've had an offer, but
that you like them very much and would be proud to consider their offer as
well. If you do this in a friendly manner, I think you'll be pleasantly
surprised to discover that you will suddenly get many offers.
You may object to this
strategy, thinking it amounts to manipulation. In a way, you're right.
When writing this section I was concerned that I might come off as
exploitative or insensitive. If I offended you, I apologize. However, I
felt that this information was necessary, because the people who conduct
interviews wield great power. They've got what you want, and they are
intentionally playing you off against many other candidates so they can
get the best possible person to work for them or to attend their
university. You need a little power too, to balance the situation. I want
you to get the best possible offer so you'll feel happy and excited about
the opportunity just ahead of you. Then you'll do the best job you're
capable of, and everyone will win.
