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LET YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM BE SUPPORTIVE

Trusted family members and friends will want to be helpful. Let them! This is not the time to push people away. Resist the temptation to close others off because you don't want to be a burden or a bore. You are still the same person with the same good traits you had before you lost your job. It is important or you and those closest to you to understand that you need me to cope and recover.

Don't think you have to "go it one" or "tough it out." It is when you shut others out that the pressures and frustrations take their greatest toll. And actually, asking for help is an indication of your intention to take control of your life.

When "coping" doesn't alleviate feelings of grief, fear, or anger, enlist the help of family members, friends, neighbors and/or others who share your problem to establish support groups and to network. Asking for help is hard, but it is not admitting defeat; on the contrary, it is an indication of your intention to take control of your life.

The impact of termination goes well beyond shaking a family’s financial security. Job loss ranks with death and divorce as one of life's most stressful events. Strong negative emotions­ - anger, inadequacy, humiliation, anxiety, depression, and a host of other feelings-are not uncommon and are fully understandable following the loss of a job. Nevertheless, neg­ative emotions are not conducive to moving forward. If you start taking them along in your personal relationships and job interviews, they can be destructive.

Job loss is a very personal experience which people handle in individual ways. Maintaining a positive outlook may not come easily to everyone, and may require serious effort on your part. A sincere effort to follow some of the suggestions offered here should be beneficial.

STAY ACTIVE

Do not remain idle while you are between jobs. Inactivity aggravates negative thoughts and feelings. Institute a routine and try to stick with it.

Mental health experts agree we feel better when we are busy, especially when our thoughts are directed outside ourselves, Many people, whether or not they are employed, derive great satisfaction from performing volunteer work. For people who are out of work, volunteering has the added benefit o£ helping them maintain or enhance their job-related skills and may create an opportunity to learn new skills and develop new interests. Another plus is that working in a new setting and meeting new people can broaden their network.

This is also a good time to tackle projects around the house and catch up on reading. But don't let these activities distract you from getting out and doing what it takes to get a new job?

ALLOCATE YOUR RESOURCES CAREFULLY

The loss of a steady paycheck can have a devastating financial impact, even in a two-income family. Develop a budget with your family, letting each member put forward their priorities. Work out a schedule of payments with your creditors, and avoid accumulating new debt as much as you possibly can;. If necessary, seek help from your local consumer credit counseling organization.

KEEP FIT AND HEALTHY

NUTRITION Nutritionists tell us that stress lowers the level of serotonin, a natural mood lifter, in the brain and that eating carbohydrates ups the serotonin level, making people feel more relaxed. Some experts also suggest that eating balanced, smaller, more frequent meals helps calm a jittery stomach.

Since the body has a strong need for nourishment during stress periods, it is wise to avoid processed foods and refined sugars and eat whole foods such as fruits and vegetables instead. Experts say that a poor diet can leave you more vulnerable to the negative aspects of stress and more susceptible to illness.

EXERCISE Exercise is one of the best ways to reduce the effects of stress. It is also a good way to improve your overall physical and mental health. Research has identified several physical changes accompanying physical exercise. These positive changes include improved functioning of heart and lungs, better muscle tone, increased energy, weight control and improved sleeping patterns.

Regular, vigorous, physical exercise is perhaps the most nat­ural, as well as the most beneficial, method of dealing with stress and tension. A well-conditioned body is best suited to handle stress. Exercise gives the body a chance to use the hor­mones that stressful situations pump into the bloodstream. It also prepares the body to handle more stress by increasing strength and endurance; reducing aches, pain, and stiffness; lowering blood pressure; and increasing cardiac output by using up adrenalin which may cause muscles to tense up.

STEER CLEAR OF DRUGS AND ALCOHOL

Sometimes people who feel overwhelmed by job loss seek relief in drugs and alcohol. These substances only mask stress symptoms. They do not help you adjust to the stress itself. Turning to them can cause more stress in the long run than it relieves. Prescription medications such as sedatives or anti­depressants are sometimes helpful in balancing a person's response to stress, but must be taken only under a doctor's direction and supervision.

REST AND SLEEP

Stress often produces insomnia or fitful sleep. Some tech­niques people can use to put themselves to sleep include progressive relaxation (sequentially tensing and fully releas­ing the muscles from head to foot), deep breathing (slowly inhaling and exhaling to a count of 10), and visualization (picturing a peaceful landscape or other pleasant vista).

JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP

People who share your situation may be better prepared to listen and respond to your concerns than even the most well-meaning friends or relatives. With a group of people who understand what you are going through, you can let off steam, get feedback on your activities, and give others the benefit of your wisdom. Many communities have support groups through which job seekers can gain tips and valuable information regarding the job market. You can usually find a support group by contacting your YMCA, YWCA, or library. Sometimes employment agencies can lead you to a group that matches your needs.

KEEP A JOURNAL

Some people find that writing things down provides a useful outlet and also helps them think through their problems. In fact research reveals that people who do so, especially those who work to reach insights, find jobs 40% sooner than those who don't.

Further, if you are planning to appeal your termination or take legal action, it is essential to make notes of the events as they occur, before your memory fades. Anger needs an outlet. When you are angry at someone or something and cannot express it in person, vent your anger by writing down what angers you. Don't analyze or organize the information, just let it pour out onto the paper. After you are done, take the pages and crum­ple them up, stomp on them, rip them up and dump them (where they won't be found). These symbolic actions, combined with the physical energy spent doing this, maximizes the emotional release.

SEEK PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING

Maintaining your emotional well being is as important dur­ing this time of crisis as securing your financial future. If ­ after trying these coping mechanisms - you still find yourself frequently depressed, dwelling on the past, harboring thoughts of revenge, drinking excessively, or resorting to drugs to mask your feelings, you may want to ask a professional psychiatrist, psychologist, or social worker for help.

Asking for professional help is not a sign of weakness, nor does it indicate a lack of self sufficiency. A well-trained professional can usually provide great relief while helping you to deal with your feelings and focus on the future. Your family doctor or minister can help you locate someone, as can organizations such as your local family service agency, mental health association, Jewish social services, or Catholic Charities. These and many other agencies that can offer assistance are listed in the Yellow Pages, if you do not know someone from whom you can get a personal recommendation.

MAKE TIME TO HAVE A GOOD TIME

Don't overlook the value of good times, either on your own or with others. Even if you think you're not in the mood, you'll probably have a good time once you are out doing something you enjoy. In his book, Anatomy of an Illness, Norman Cousins wrote, "It has always seemed to me that hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors." Experts say that daily laughter makes you feel happier, healthier, more self-confident, and relaxed.

QuickCheck - Coping

·      Let Your  System Be Supportive

·      Stay Active,

·      Allocate Your Resources Carefully

·      Keep Fit and Healthy

·      Steer Clear of Drugs and Alcohol

·      Rest and Sleep

·     Join a  Support Group

·      Keep a Journal

·      Seek Professional Counseling

·      Make Time to Have a Good Time

BONUS TIP: EDUCATION AND TRAINING

The period of post-termination can be a time for self-examination and for focusing on what is best for the future. For some individuals, termination provides an opportunity to learn new skills. We are in the middle of a technical revolution. In order to advance on the "information highway," everyone must become more educated. Find out what you should learn in order to meet the present and future needs of employers in your area and look for courses and training programs in your community. Sometimes state, local, or federal government sponsored training courses are available free or at a low cost. Consult local educational institutions, unions, and correspondence courses. Even if you don't end up needing your newly acquired skills on your next job, employers will take note that you have been resourceful during your "downtime."

If you have been out of the job market for a long time, you should brush up on your interviewing skills. Many times, the interview can make or break a job prospect. When numerous applicants are vying for a small number of positions, the person who comes across the best in the interview will often be the one who gets the job.

First impressions are very important. Your dress and demeanor can play as critical a role in the hiring decision as your skills and experience. Because you only get one chance to make a first impression, it's worth reading one of the interview preparation books now available. You may be surprised at some of the observations and techniques these books provide.

END TIP: YOU ARE NOT ALONE

Millions of your compatriots have had to cope with the realities and difficulties of unfair dismissal. Knowledge is power.  We urge you to maximize information concerning your rights. If you have questions, there are many private, public and government agencies that can provide assistance. Be assertive, ask questions, utilize available resources, consult experts and professionals. Know your legal rights. If you feel your termination was unfair, be sure to see a lawyer. All this build self-respect and often results in economic gain.

You may be tempted to seek vindication, recognition, and revenge. If you find yourself saying: "It's the principle, not the money", be aware that this is often a painful path to choose. Often both your wallet and health will ultimately be adversely affected. Unfortunately, the reality of our economic and legal system favors businesses. The "little guy" ends up suffering injustice without adequate recourse. In reality, the "better part of valor" is often to accept a severance package or modest settlement and get on with the transition from one job to another. On the other hand, the law does provide protection against the most outrageous misconduct by employers (if you have evidence). Terminated employees have every right to utilize whatever laws and remedies are available to them.

We wish you every bit of good luck and success in the days and years ahead.