LET YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM BE SUPPORTIVE
Trusted family members and friends will want
to be helpful. Let them! This is not the time to push people away. Resist the
temptation to close others off because you don't want to be a burden or a
bore. You are still the same person with the same good traits you had before
you lost your job. It is important or you and those closest to you to
understand that you need me to cope and recover.
Don't think you have to "go it one" or "tough
it out." It is when you shut others out that the pressures and frustrations
take their greatest toll. And actually, asking
for help is an indication of your intention to take control of your life.
When "coping" doesn't alleviate feelings of
grief, fear, or anger, enlist the help of family members, friends, neighbors
and/or others who share your problem to establish support groups and to
network. Asking for help is hard, but it is not admitting defeat; on the
contrary, it is an indication of your intention to take control of your life.
The impact of termination goes well beyond
shaking a family’s financial security. Job loss ranks with death and divorce
as one of life's most stressful events. Strong negative emotions - anger,
inadequacy, humiliation, anxiety, depression, and a host of other feelings-are
not uncommon and are fully understandable following the loss of a job.
Nevertheless, negative emotions are not conducive to moving forward. If you
start taking them along in your personal relationships and job interviews,
they can be destructive.
Job loss is a very personal experience which
people handle in individual ways. Maintaining a positive outlook may not come
easily to everyone, and may require serious effort on your part. A sincere
effort to follow some of the suggestions offered here should be beneficial.
STAY ACTIVE
Do not remain idle while you are between jobs.
Inactivity aggravates negative thoughts and feelings. Institute a routine and
try to stick with it.
Mental health experts agree we feel better
when we are busy, especially when our thoughts are directed outside ourselves,
Many people, whether or not they are employed, derive great satisfaction from
performing volunteer work. For people who are out of work, volunteering has
the added benefit o£ helping them maintain or enhance their job-related skills
and may create an opportunity to learn new skills and develop new interests.
Another plus is that working in a new setting and meeting new people can
broaden their network.
This is also a good time to tackle projects
around the house and catch up on reading. But don't let these activities
distract you from getting out and doing what it takes to get a new job?
ALLOCATE YOUR RESOURCES CAREFULLY
The loss of a steady paycheck can have a
devastating financial impact, even in a two-income family. Develop a budget
with your family, letting each member put forward their priorities. Work out a
schedule of payments with your creditors, and avoid accumulating new debt as
much as you possibly can;. If necessary, seek help from your local consumer
credit counseling organization.
KEEP FIT AND HEALTHY
NUTRITION
Nutritionists tell us that stress lowers the
level of serotonin, a natural mood lifter, in the brain and that eating
carbohydrates ups the serotonin level, making people feel more relaxed. Some
experts also suggest that eating balanced, smaller, more frequent meals helps
calm a jittery stomach.
Since the body has a strong need for
nourishment during stress periods, it is wise to avoid processed foods and
refined sugars and eat whole foods such as fruits and vegetables instead.
Experts say that a poor diet can leave you more vulnerable to the negative
aspects of stress and more susceptible to illness.
EXERCISE
Exercise is one of the best ways to reduce the
effects of stress. It is also a good way to improve your overall physical and
mental health. Research has identified several physical changes accompanying
physical exercise. These positive changes include improved functioning of
heart and lungs, better muscle tone, increased energy, weight control and
improved sleeping patterns.
Regular, vigorous, physical exercise is
perhaps the most natural, as well as the most beneficial, method of dealing
with stress and tension. A well-conditioned body is best suited to handle
stress. Exercise gives the body a chance to use the hormones that stressful
situations pump into the bloodstream. It also prepares the body to handle more
stress by increasing strength and endurance; reducing aches, pain, and
stiffness; lowering blood pressure; and increasing cardiac output by using up
adrenalin which may cause muscles to tense up.
STEER CLEAR OF DRUGS AND ALCOHOL
Sometimes people who feel overwhelmed by job
loss seek relief in drugs and alcohol. These substances only mask stress
symptoms. They do not help you adjust to the stress itself. Turning to them
can cause more stress in the long run than it relieves. Prescription
medications such as sedatives or antidepressants are sometimes helpful in
balancing a person's response to stress, but must be taken only under a
doctor's direction and supervision.
REST AND SLEEP
Stress often produces insomnia or fitful
sleep. Some techniques people can use to put themselves to sleep include
progressive relaxation (sequentially tensing and fully releasing the muscles
from head to foot), deep breathing (slowly inhaling and exhaling to a count of
10), and visualization (picturing a peaceful landscape or other pleasant
vista).
JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP
People who share your situation may be better
prepared to listen and respond to your concerns than even the most
well-meaning friends or relatives. With a group of people who understand what
you are going through, you can let off steam, get feedback on your activities,
and give others the benefit of your wisdom. Many communities have support
groups through which job seekers can gain tips and valuable
information regarding the job market. You can
usually find a
support group by contacting your YMCA, YWCA,
or library. Sometimes employment agencies can lead you to a group that matches
your needs.
KEEP A JOURNAL
Some people find that
writing things down provides a useful outlet and also helps them think through
their problems. In fact research reveals that people who do so, especially
those who work to reach insights, find jobs 40% sooner than those who don't.
Further, if you are
planning to appeal your termination or take legal action, it is essential to
make notes of the events as they occur, before your memory fades. Anger needs
an outlet. When you are angry at someone or something and cannot express it in
person, vent your anger by writing down what angers you. Don't analyze or
organize the information, just let it pour out onto the paper. After you are
done, take the pages and crumple them up, stomp on them, rip them up and dump
them (where they won't be found). These symbolic actions, combined with the
physical energy spent doing this, maximizes the emotional release.
SEEK PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING
Maintaining your
emotional well being is as important during this time of crisis as securing
your financial future. If after trying these coping mechanisms - you still
find yourself frequently depressed, dwelling on the past, harboring thoughts
of revenge, drinking excessively, or resorting to drugs to mask your feelings,
you may want to ask a professional psychiatrist, psychologist, or social
worker for help.
Asking for professional help is not a sign of
weakness, nor does it indicate a lack of self sufficiency. A well-trained
professional can usually provide great relief while helping you to deal with
your feelings and focus on the future. Your family doctor or minister can help
you locate someone, as can organizations such as your local family service
agency, mental health association, Jewish social services, or Catholic
Charities. These and many other agencies that can offer assistance are listed
in the Yellow Pages, if you do not know someone from whom you can get a
personal recommendation.
MAKE TIME TO
HAVE A GOOD TIME
Don't overlook the value of
good times, either on your own or with others. Even if you think you're not in
the mood, you'll probably have a good time once you are out doing something
you enjoy. In his book,
Anatomy of an Illness,
Norman Cousins wrote, "It
has always seemed to me that hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally
without having to go outdoors." Experts say that daily laughter makes you feel
happier, healthier, more self-confident, and relaxed.
QuickCheck -
Coping
·
Let
Your System
Be Supportive
·
Stay Active,
·
Allocate Your Resources Carefully
·
Keep Fit and Healthy
·
Steer Clear of Drugs and Alcohol
·
Rest and Sleep
·
Join a Support Group
·
Keep a Journal
·
Seek Professional Counseling
·
Make Time to Have a Good Time
BONUS TIP: EDUCATION AND TRAINING
The period of post-termination can be a time for self-examination and for
focusing on what is best for the future.
For some individuals, termination provides an
opportunity to learn new skills. We are in the middle of a technical
revolution. In order to advance on the "information highway," everyone must
become more educated. Find out what you should learn in order to meet the
present and future needs of employers in your area and look for courses and
training programs in your community. Sometimes state, local, or federal
government sponsored training courses are available free or at a low cost.
Consult local educational institutions, unions, and correspondence courses.
Even if you don't end up needing your newly acquired skills on your next job,
employers will take note that you have been resourceful during your
"downtime."
If you have been out of the job market for a
long time, you should brush up on your interviewing skills. Many times, the
interview can make or break a job prospect. When numerous applicants are vying
for a small number of positions, the person who comes across the best in the
interview will often be the one who gets the job.
First impressions are very important. Your
dress and demeanor can play as critical a role in the hiring decision as your
skills and experience. Because you only get one chance to make a first
impression, it's worth reading one of the interview preparation books now
available. You may be surprised at some of the observations and techniques
these books provide.