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More distorted thinking styles, with thanks to Aaron Beck: Control Fallacy - if you feel externally controlled, you see yourself as a totally helpless victim of fate. You don't believe that you can effectively influence the important outcomes. They are out of your control. Or, conversely, you feel excessively responsible. Everything depends on you and, if things do not go well, it is all your fault. The fallacy of control has you responsible for the pain and happiness of everyone around you. This is a sizeable burden. Fallacy of Fairness - you feel resentful because you think you know what's fair but other people won't agree with you. Fairness is a big standard for you. You think everything should be fair, even though there is insufficient evidence to indicate that life is particularly fair. When things go poorly, you are liable to respond with, "That's not fair. It's just not fair. It shouldn't be that way." Fallacy of Change - you expect that other people will change to suit you if you just pressure or cajole them enough. You need to change people because you feel that your hopes for happiness depend entirely on them. Some of your relationships are based on the premise that you can change the other person. You talk about how they should change quite a bit. You give them advice. Fallacy of Being Right - you are continually on trial to prove that your opinion and actions are correct. Being wrong is unthinkable, and you will go to any length to demonstrate your rightness. This makes you defensive, and you have to hang onto your opinions and justify what you have done. Heaven's Reward Fallacy - you expect all your sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if there were someone keeping score. You feel bitter when the reward does not come. You work extra hard and sacrifice, and do the right thing, expecting to get a lot of credit later. Often, it doesn't come, and this upsets you. Click here to Explore Your Belief Systems Click here for the Six-Step Change Model for changing your thoughts and increasing your happiness Click here for the ABC Change Model for learning optimism
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