creating sustainable results in growth and performance
It is
both wise and profitable to collect facts about the weakness of human
nature. We must learn to welcome these temporarily shocking insights.
Here are three friendly facts to help us let go and grow more spiritually
independent:
1.
You can only depend on others for as long as it pays
them to tolerate your dependence.
2.
No matter how it may appear on the surface of human
events, self-interest
governs individuals.
3.
Even the typical display of human kindness or
benevolence comes not from that person’s compassionate nature but from
their unconscious desire to enrich themselves with the intoxicating
feelings of being a good person. Forget to thank them or acknowledge
their generosity and watch how quickly their goodness turns into repressed
resentment or outward indignation.
These
facts are not negative. What is negative is to hide from ourselves that
we have been betrayed by others. The evidence is overwhelming. Depending
on others is an accident waiting to happen. Don’t be afraid to come to the
temporarily disturbing but wonderful understanding that there is no one
for you to count on – because there isn’t – at least not where you have
been looking. You have been living with the self-limiting belief that one
day someone would give you what you have not been able to give to yourself
– true independence. That's just another expectation.
Always
keep in mind that you are not here on earth to live up to anyone’s
expectations – including your own. You need never answer any demand -
yours or someone else’s – that causes you pain or that asks you to
sacrifice your integrity. Stop trying to act kind and realise that the
kindest act of all is to help another see through the hoax of unhappiness
– yours or theirs. If you allow others to tell you where you are going,
then you must also depend on them to tell you what you will need for your
journey.
Notice
the hidden connection between these two seemingly different worlds (the
outside world and our inside world). It is our demands on ourselves that
result in the vicious circle of the worldly demands – they are linked. As
this connection grows clearly, so will your understanding about the only
way to answer ALL of their demands.
---------------------------
Emotional
Resilience : Simple Truths for Dealing With the Unfinished Business of
Your Past by David S. Viscott
This
book by expert David Viscott is a handbook for living the life you want
and deserve. Reading Emotional Resilience is like having your own wise and
supportive therapist at your elbow, helping you through hard times,
difficult days, and unhappy relationships. All of the knowledge and
insight of Dr. Viscott's distinguished career is distilled into this book
and its ten basic truths that can change your life.
1.
Tell the truth.
2.
Face life openly. (what you avoid imprisons you.)
3.
Say what you mean, feel, believe.
4.
Accept yourself as you are.
5.
Accept others as they are.
6.
Know and accept your weaknesses.
7.
Stop trying to prove yourself.
8.
Let go of the past.
9.
Give up false expectations.
10.
Take responsibility for your life and how it turned
out.
What
you are willing to take responsibility for can be changed.
