the defining traits for success 

High Emotional Intelligence or Emotional Quotient (EQ = emotional equivalent of IQ) is about what you need for effective self-management as well as ‘being good with people’. High EQ is directly related to more happiness and success. The only way to increase your EQ is by paying attention to thoughts. And nowadays the "hip" term for performance improvement is "emotional intelligence" or EQ (as opposed to IQ) levels.

EQ competencies involve empathy, assertiveness, impulse control, emotional self-awareness, flexibility and reality testing. These competencies require skills in noticing feelings, paying attention to them, giving them significance, thinking about them, and taking them into account in deciding how to act. They apply both to one’s own feelings and those of others.

Some of the intrapersonal competencies – what you need for effective self-management – are

a) mood management;

b) self motivation;

c) handling setbacks well;

d) using your intuition;

e) managing your energy;

f) dealing with stress (usually we wait until it is too late); and

g) avoiding depression or low moods.

The better you are at all of these, the greater your ability to deal with distress and your resilience to change and ambiguity. A higher EQ is also identified with better personal performance and higher levels of achievement.

Some of the interpersonal competencies – what you need for effective relationships – include

a) encouraging people to motivate themselves;

b) leading others;

c) developing others;

d) collaborating with others;

e) confronting others (as opposed to conflict); and

f) facilitating relationships between others.

 These competencies create improved attitude, motivation and productivity; enhance relationship and communication skills; and produce faster integration and building of trust within teams.

These competencies are crucial for success in both business and life, and undermine success when missing. Most people are perfectly capable of using their EQ skills but cannot through lack of practice and appreciation. People tend to trade the long-term advantages of effective performance for short term payoffs. For example, inflexibility provides a stable, though narrow, orientation to life. By simplifying the world for us, it allows us to act rapidly and decisively, unhindered by the consideration of alternatives. Yet it has obvious longer-term disadvantages such as the inability to respond to change.

Improving these skills takes practice and commitment – and requires a very different model of learning to traditional learning and training. Neither reading about it nor hearing about it in lectures or seminars creates changes. The most effective method identified is support by a coach to help create "emotional learning".

The emotional brain learns very differently from the thinking brain. Just as only regular exercise increases physical fitness, we can increase EQ only through practice and experience, via a combination of learning and actions, including repeating new skills regularly.

Although it may be hard to believe, a noticeable change of behaviour and attitude can be created in as little as three months. The most successful results often take longer.

Click here to Explore Your Belief Systems

Click here for the Six-Step Change Model for changing your thoughts and increasing your happiness

Click here for the ABC Change Model for learning optimism

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  For the Top Ten Happiness Truths send an email to bs@futurevisions.org
    with "MWS Happinesss Top Ten" in the subject and nothing in the body

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