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Ask "Why" three to five times in a row
      before agreeing to do something

Journalists, skilled negotiators, leaders, and counselors are taught to ask "WHY" UP TO FIVE TIMES IN A ROW. Why? Because none of us dig deeply into why we do something, we just do it.

This human trait can be very costly in the workplace. If you don't dig into why, you may be taking on unnecessary to-dos. Getting what you need out of anyone - even well-intentioned individuals who are good communicators - may take between three to five Why's to get at what they are really asking of you, or to get what you need from them to make an informed decision.

If your boss asks you to drop what you're doing and take care of something else, ask why. If s/he says because it's needed by tomorrow, ask why. If it's because of a client deadline, ask why the client has set that deadline.

If your boss answers your third, fourth or fifth why with "just do it", you have little opportunity to deflect or reject. Fair enough. Pushing back this way will work more often with teammates and peers than it will with bosses who are in charge of your work. But there is a bigger issue here, one that changes how you listen and how you track what's truly important.

Get fanatical about asking WHY? several times whenever you're handed a to-do. If this approach deflects only an occasional project, that's OK. The point is that you will improve your ability to distinguish between what's important and what isn't. You'll begin to notice the holes in many of the rationales you're given. With that clarity, you'll gain greater confidence to say no when you encounter a request to do something that doesn't really matter.

Direct Variations:

For your teammates/peers:

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Why?

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Aaaaaaand?

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Silence (implied Why?)

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Tell me more

Indirect Variations:

For your bosses, clients, leaders:

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Help me understand something....

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Maybe it's me. Sorry I missed this. Could you explain...?

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What matters most on this project?

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Is there anything I should know about how this will be used?

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This is important because ___________ [fill in blank] Right?

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Is this connected to __________? [fill in blank with other projects]

 __________________________________________________________________________

Are you giving too much to get too little? If you think so, send an email to
    lb@FutureVisions.org with "MWS Top Ten Life Tenderizers" in the subject
    and nothing in the body and receive the top ten "motion sickness cures".

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