Indirect No's: Focus on three things, always leading with questions...

•        Discover the Unsaid

Thanks for your confidence in me! Why'd you think of me?

Help me understand what you're trying to achieve...

Help me understand the connection to my quarterly goals...

What's connected to this project that's driving the deadline?

What would success look like for this project?

Once I hand this back to you, what happens next?

Even if they are minimal, what tools/support/resources are available?

What's worked in the past?

What do you wish you could have changed last time?

What else is on your plate besides this project?

•        Explore Alternative Solutions

You know, Alpha Team had a problem like this ... What if we...?

What if I presented two solutions that stayed within the budget?

Here's how I'd start... What am I missing?

Which of these three approaches do you think is best?

Are there others who should be involved in this?

Can I outsource this to a contractor/vendor/consultant?

Could I set up a mid-point check-in with you?

•        Contract for the Next Conversation

I’ll make it go away, Chief! Could we set up a debrief talk afterwards?

To get this project done, others fell off my plate: Can you help me find a way to avoid that next time?

I'd like to make suggestions to help do this even better next time, OK?

I'm glad you're thrilled with how I delivered on this! Now, can we talk about...?

Do not "push-back" with direct refusals. If your goal is to reduce the overall flow of to-do's from someone, these three tracks of questions - Discover, Explore, Contract - work! Not necessarily by making any one task go away. But they deliver what you're really after: Respect, Partnership

By asking these questions, you create opportunities to get your concerns about overloads heard and discussed IN A WAY that doesn't feel to them like you are pushing back stuff onto their plate (which only upsets them and doesn't really achieve much for you in the long run).

With reasonable people, your "no" should be heard and discussed, on its merits, within two-to-three exchanges. With tougher types, if you haven't made progress on your "no's" within five-or-so exchanges, you never will. Click here for how to deal with bosses who just don't "get it".

And - clarify goals & objectives

 __________________________________________________________________________

 Are you giving too much to get too little? If you think so, send an email to  
    bs@futurevisions.org with "MWS Top Ten Life Tenderizers" in the subject
    and nothing in the body and receive the top ten "motion sickness cures".

Return to Free Stuff List

Return to Time Management List 

Return to Career Planning