compliments of
FutureVisionsSM
creating sustainable results in growth and performance
Many people have difficulty saying "no,"
and
boundary invaders take full advantage of this difficulty. If a request or
a question makes you feel uncomfortable, it is probably an attempt to invade
your boundaries, even if the other person is not fully aware that this is what
s/he is doing. If a straight-out "NO" is too difficult for you, try some of
the following alternatives. (But also practice saying a plain NO. It
strengthens your boundaries.)
Despite the prevalence of stress and
burn-out
in our working world – and its
well-documented dangers – too many firms continue to ignore the problem. Too
many managers have the misguided notion that only wimps get stressed out.
These are the same managers who tend to give out stress in abundance but they
don’t provide help or support to stressed employees. So, for now it seems to
be up to each of us to learn to stand our ground.
In the office, you could use any of the following, as relevant. Use them at
spaced out intervals and with a clear attitude that it is not that you are
trying to avoid work per se but rather because you are actually so overworked
that you know that you have to re-prioritise or you cannot do anything well.
Memorise the following to use with your boss - you’ll need them if you are
already doing a lot of overtime:
- I’m really over-committed right now
and if I take this on I can’t do it justice.
- I appreciate your confidence in me. I wouldn’t want to take this on knowing
my other tasks and responsibilities right now would prohibit me from doing an
excellent job
- I’d be happy to do this for you but realistically I cannot do it without
foregoing some other things I’m working on. Of tasks a and b, which would you
like me to do? Which can I put aside?
- I can do that for you. Will it be okay if I get back to you in the middle
of next week. I currently have a, b and c in the queue.
- The number of tasks and complexity of assignments I’m handling is mounting.
Perhaps we could look at a two- or four- week scenario of what’s most
important to you, such as when the assignments need to be completed and what I
can realistically handle over that time period.
Meanwhile, remain as flexible as possible. You will also need to look around
you, compare how much work and responsibility you have against what seems to
be expected in your organization (and your industry generally), and decide
whether you want to conform. Is it really worth while?
If you are female and have young children, is this a price you are willing to
pay? Whether you have children or not, what are your realistic chances of
getting promoted (or whatever it is you believe you will get in exchange,
apart from your salary), judging by the number of females at high levels in
your industry (and this particular organization)?
Look carefully at the women in more senior positions (if there are any –
either women or more senior positions, that is). Did they have to half-kill
themselves with over-work and over-achievement? Is this acceptable to you for
your own life? You do not have to buy-in to the over-work ethos. You may wish
instead to stand back, to think carefully about the price involved for you
personally versus the possible rewards, and make a conscious choice about what
you really want.
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