Self-esteem is
important because it affects the quality of your life. It may even
affect longevity, according to studies of those who are aged over
100.
Did you know
that the word esteem comes from the verb "estimate"? To sell
property, would you ask a passer-by or a neighbor to value or
estimate its price? Yet this is what we do with ourselves. All too
frequently we accept as a true estimation of our self-worth the
opinions of complete amateurs such as neighbors or colleagues.
Be very
critical about the evaluations others make of you. The great
majority are amateurs and their opinions are of little value.
There are a number of reasons for this. They do not really know
us. The have not developed insight into other people because they
do not even know themselves. Even in the case of psychologists who
claim to be qualified to assess other human beings this is
sometimes not true. They may know a lot about psychological
theories but they lack wisdom or judgment.
Be even more
critical of the estimates of people you respect or who are close
to you. Some people may be worthy of your respect for qualities,
knowledge or skills that have nothing to do with the discernment
of character. Those near to you may be far too close to see you
clearly or in proper perspective.
And never
forget that negative criticism (often called "constructive"
criticism) always has a hidden agenda. The critic may not be aware
of it, but it’s there.
The key word
is ‘critical’ - only seek advice of people you respect for their
ability as judges of other people and examine it carefully. Pay
attention to what they say, because it may have a nugget of
accuracy. If so, there may be something to learn from them,
although it may not be what they think we should learn.
Above all,
be extremely careful - even critical - of your own estimates of
yourself, especially negative estimates. Most of us have been
enveloped in a large amount of negativity since the day we were
born. We are better at putting ourselves down than at positive
self-talk. Always ask: Is this really the truth About FutureVisions? Is it
really true that I have no ability in this field?
