Are you "enjoying"  TOXIC (poisonous) success?      

(toxic success = a lack of delight in daily living and the illnesses that go hand-in-hand with too much juggling, too much work
 and too little play; taken, with thanks, from Dr Paul Pearsall's book of the same name)

Did you know it's not really about having a Type A personality? No. It seems that Type As (the driving, workaholic types)
survive heart attacks twice as often as Type Bs (the more relaxed, less ambitious types).

Type A is NOT a risk to health. No - the danger of Type A is that it KILLS Type Bs. It’s actually much more dangerous to be
a Type B LIVING with a Type A! Except, that is, for hostile Type As. Yes, hostility - the three components are cynicism, anger
and aggression - has proved to be very dangerous to the health of such Type As.

Angry hostility (actually not an emotion but an attitude) places us in a double bind: both holding it in and venting it are bad
for the heart and the immune system.  Research indicates that people who suppress angry feelings are more likely to get
cancer (Type C) while people who are frequently angry at others (often a Type A behavior) are more likely to get heart attacks.

It's not just any kind of hostility and anger that bodes poorly for the health of one's heart, but rather a particular kind:
cynical hostility. It is characterized by suspiciousness, resentment, florid displays of anger, antagonism and distrust.
These people have difficulty making friends or maintaining relationships.

However, there are gender differences in the way Type A is expressed - and hence differences in the health challenges.
A Type A personality in men is fairly consistently related to cardiovascular (heart/circulation) responses to stressful
challenges or competition whereas Type A personality in women appears to be related to measures of daily stress
and tension. Male Type As find challenging response time tasks stressful (this translates to deadlines at work) while
female Type As find verbally challenging interaction (meetings, presentations, debates) stressful.
(Click here for more on health issues.)

Furthermore, there are gender differences in emotional reactions. The Type A personality for men involves a competitive
orientation toward life (including suspiciousness) whereas the Type A personality for women tends to bring up reactions of
guilt and anxiety.

For those who tend to get angry, the secret is to learn how to express it without allowing your thinking to create
anger responses (either internally or externally). For some, the inner change is to be LESS tolerant and forgiving,
to learn how to express angry feelings in an appropriate way. For others (particularly male Type As), the change is
to become MORE tolerant and forgiving, to learn how to give up the hostility habit. Work through victim and blame
attitudes. Here is a twelve-step approach to doing so:

1. Monitor your hostile and/or cynical thoughts

2.  Confess your hostility and seek support to change

3.  Stop cynical or hostile thoughts - think of something else

4. Reason with yourself

5. Put yourself in the other person's shoes

6.  Laugh at yourself

7. Practice relaxation

8. Try trusting others (start with small things where you have little to lose)

9.  Force yourself to listen more

10. Substitute assertiveness for aggression (and find out the differences!)

11. Pretend that today is your last

12. Practice forgiveness (yes, just bite your tongue and do it)

Every time you have a thought, there is a corresponding neuro-chemical activity that creates emotions and physical
changes in your body. It can't be otherwise. Thus the outcome is inevitable. Lopsided habits in thoughts create
matching imbalances in emotions and physical systems which then make the body vulnerable to illnesses.

So, Type A can be VERY good for you - it’s not stress of itself that is dangerous. Being a workaholic is NOT a risk.
Being competitive is not a risk to your health – nor is being under stress. Stress is good for you! We have to have stress.
We humans would die without ANY stress to challenge and interest us – it’s actually the stress that comes from having
a lot of responsibility without power that kills.

It's DIS-stress that kills. You are the only one who can determine what amount of work or stress is comfortable for you.
Some people thrive on 60 hours, some are wasted after 35.

The stress that causes our problems is better defined as DIS-stress. In that context, distress is like the warning light
going off in a car, telling us the engine is too hot. Without it we will damage the engine, our mental health.

So DIS-stress is a signal that we are no longer in control. At what point did we end up working in a constant state of
emergency and believing we cannot get anything done without it?

This belief is destructive – it spreads crisis-consciousness and heightens stress levels. We end up unable or unwilling
to stop and draw a breath, stop and think calmly about the overview or about different choices.

Over the long term, such stress builds up. This long-term, accumulating stress results from the build-up of demands
and lifestyle changes – this is the chronic or drip-by-drip source of stress.

Living an overactive or striving life with inadequate time for rest and reflecting over a long period can lead to dis-stress.
Some early warning signs can be any of the following:

Physical - headaches can increase in frequency and intensity when under pressure; muscle tension, most commonly
in the head, neck, shoulders and back; significant weight loss or gain, skin – dry skin, spots, irritation, rash; digestive
problems of any kind including ulcers and stomach disorders; low immunity to coughs and colds; and even heart palpitations
and some chest pains.

Emotional signals can include – feeling irritable and short tempered, depression or a general feeling of gloom,
loss of confidence; feeling drained and un-enthusiastic; a sense of alienation.

Mental signs can include - lack of concentration, poor short term memory, indecision – even about little things,
bad decision making, and persistently negative thoughts.

Behavioral signs can include – tired all the time or disturbed sleep patterns – this could be insomnia or needing more
sleep or waking up tired; drinking or smoking more than usual; withdrawing from friends, family or office relationships;
and even finding it difficult to relax.

Other signs could be - mannerisms like twitches, frowning, scowling or nailbiting. Still others include things like poor
time-keeping and lack of punctuality, becoming less sociable, making more mistakes than usual, poor decision making,
tendency to procrastinate, failing to meet deadlines, reduced productivity, poor quality.

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