This is a very long page:
below this
introduction there are dozens of valuable
tried and tested tips and techniques for stressbusting.
They won't all suit you, but there's something for everyone! Don't forget
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Free Stuff section too, for quality information on Burnout, Mood,
Happiness, Self-Esteem, Time Management, Stress Management, and much
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Stress costs money. The total cost to British industry alone is thought to be
vast: at least 40 million working days lost each year to ailments associated
with or exacerbated by stress. Drink-related absenteeism, which is
related to stress, is estimated to cost industry around £700 million a year. High stress has been directly related to poor job satisfaction, poor
company connection, poor retention, poor personal satisfaction, poor health,
poor overall productivity.
So, why isn’t more being done? Stress is a taboo subject. Many people
hold negative attitudes towards stress that lead them to deny or conceal its
existence. organizations may not recognise or accept that work can
contribute to stress.
Here are quite a few quick and simple but powerful techniques for stress
reduction and revitalisation. They are interspersed with tips on how
happiness/stress/health since these are all inter-connected, as well as some lighthearted sayings.
TECHNIQUE: Heart
Relaxer
Every half hour or so, if you're having a hectic day, drop your jaw
suddenly. As you do that, breathe, shrug your shoulders, and rotate them
fully—back, down, front, up—in generous smooth circles as high, wide, and
handsome as you can make them. When you bring them around to normal
position, make sure the back muscles of your shoulders have really
relaxed. And when you shrug, keep the jaw dropped and relaxed. It's a
little like patting your stomach with one hand and rubbing your head with
the other!
Holding on produces a tight jaw and sore shoulders. People who carry a lot
of burdens generally have tight shoulder and neck muscles. You're
beginning to tighten up for the fight-or-flight syndrome. "Crouched for
action" can whip the heart into a spasm. If you do this exercise for ten
seconds every half hour, it will counteract the buildup of the heart's
tendency to spasm. The brain wave, which slows down in older people and
those with heart disease, will switch to a normally functioning one.
After a while, you can begin to get the exact "feel" of this relaxed-heart
brain wave. Even Type A, uptight personalities can help prevent heart
attacks by practicing this normalizing exercise—and feel the new calmer
functioning that it engenders in their brains and hearts.
TECHNIQUE: Everyone has experienced how powerful music can be for
relaxation but few people know that classical music, especially Baroque
music (composed 1600-1750, composers include Bach, Beethoven, Vivaldi,
Handel, Telemann, Correlli, etc), is the most effective.
It is best used for background, harmony and restful alertness. It is
characterized by balance, unity and counterpoint. The music was all written
by "house musicians", those who were permanently employed by a church,
court, council or opera house. These composers wrote for specific occasions
and the music usually glorified God, the king or a particular event.
The Largo movements with a restful tempo of 60 beats a minute, are
particularly effective. The rhythm often almost matches the heartbeat and
the sounds are natural resonances in an orderly structure. It is these
features that can produce an amazing effect, when played into a special
point on the body (covered below). You don’t even have to like the music for
it to relieve stress in this way and have a beneficial effect.
Even fewer people understand that when we listen to music all the holes
in our body parts resonate to the different notes. This happens whether the
music is of good quality or bad. The difference is that the "bad" music
(rock music, for example, tends to weaken the body) does not have a
beneficial effect. There is a particular point on the body, an acupuncture
point called CV 4 located on the midline of the body near the pubic bone,
that has been shown to be almost magically effective.
CV4 is actually about halfway between the pubic bone and the belly
button. Placing your cassette player on the front of your body, just below
the belly button and just above the pubic bone, will definitely cover CV4.
You don’t even have to listen to the music (turn volume way down or even
remove the headphones).
If you don’t have a small cassette player, you can purchase a "pillow
speaker" ($5 from Radio Shack or £5 from Tandy) and place that just above
your pubic bone – on the midline of the body.
Even five minutes of this has been proven to give immediate relief to the
body. You can even use this for half an hour most days– there’s always some
time at the end of the day when you're sitting or lying down. You can even
do this whilst watching TV or reading. An inexpensive Sony Walkman can be kept only for this purpose.
Health: our immune systems are responsive to emotional states,
psychological interventions and energy work. When we are happy, our antibody
production increases. Relaxation training can significantly improve the
immune system’s functioning. So can directed imagery.
To begin reprogramming our immune systems, the first thing we can adjust
is our attitudes. For instance, self-judgment triggers different biochemical
pathways in our immune response than self-compassion. Activating compassion
for ourselves can be a critical step in reversing ill-health. Rather than
being angry at our bodies, we can enter into a conscious partnership with
it.
TECHNIQUE: It's extremely simple and takes less than a minute: LOOK
UPWARDS. It is impossible to be negative whilst looking upwards – try it for
yourself! And what could be simpler?
Yes, that’s all it is - keep looking upwards for at least one minute
(time it if you need to) and notice how difficult it is initially, to let
yourself remain happy for even that long!
Try it for about 30 seconds several times a day - taking particular note
of the times when you can't seem to do it for even that brief time. Notice
what is happening in your body whilst you hold your eyes upwards. You might
feel a lightness in your head, chest or stomach for example (almost a
buoyancy, like a helium filled balloon). Don't immediately label what might
be an unfamiliar feeling as "uncomfortable" or even "bad". Everyone is
individual, so it may take some of us longer than others to achieve a
"buoyant" feeling.
Repeat this technique at least three times every day. Whilst looking
upwards feel into your body for the subtle changes that will always occur
but might be missed if you are not alert for them – some feel an upliftment,
others butterflies in their stomachs or even recognize how rarely they
actually do look upwards.
So sit up straight in your chair. Throw back your head and shoulders. Let
a smile play around the corners of your mouth, widen your eyes and (without
moving your head) look upwards. NOW – just try to feel sad and depressed.
Bet you’ll find it less easy than usual!
You can use this technique, for example, as a way to bring yourself
(pleasantly) into the present and as a brief "vacation". Uplifting your eyes
can almost immediately uplift your whole mood.... You can use this as a way
of taking "one minute vacations" every hour throughout your day, to reduce
stress, increase happiness and boost health - how can it not? Total
investment per day? Say 10 minutes, for as many "vacations"!
TECHNIQUE: Here is a simple exercise to hel you connect the left (head)
and right (heart) parts of the brain. Sit quietly and close your eyes.
Imagine a red rose in the right half of you brain. Now imagine a white rose
in the left half of your brain. Next imagine these two roses being switched
over, so that the red rose is in the left brain and the white rose is in the
right brain.
This technique has been found extremely effective for increasing energy,
creativity and relaxation. Repeat it every day for a few weeks. After that
you can use it once every few days or whenever you feel the connection needs
reinforcing - for instance, at a time of great stress.
Health has a very strong and direct connection with self-esteem and
happiness. The London "Daily Telegraph" newspaper published the following on
19th November 1998:
BEAT THAT COLD WITH A HAPPY THOUGHT: A pleasurable experience a day can
keep the doctor away, scientists said yesterday. Enjoyment, even in small
doses, can boost the body's protective immune system for hours, while guilt
and misery can reduce it. Many of life's small pleasures may have a
cumulative effect in boosting the immune system over a longer period, said
the Association for Research into the Science of Enjoyment.....
The scientists measured levels in saliva of an antibody....which provides
the first line of protection against colds and respiratory infections, when
people had pleasant and unpleasant experiences. Prof David Warburton of
Reading University found the amount of antibody doubled 20 minutes after
happy thoughts and grew further after 45 minutes. Even after three hours the
immunity level was 60 per cent higher than when the experiment started.
Immune function was suppressed when people recalled traumatic or guilty
experiences.
The second study showed that the smell of unpleasant odours, such as
rotting meat, cut the antibody levels, potentially weakening our resistance
to illness. "Smelling warm chocolate produced a relative increase in the
antibody...this suggests that it makes sense to take time to smell the
roses, if you like them." This was the first study to show that moods which
are induced by the sense of smell have an effect on antibody production,
said Prof Warburton. "Previous scientific experiments have observed a
correlation between changing moods and the immunity system, but these new
studies provide a direct causal link", he said. "Identifying this direct
link proves that happiness could make you healthy".
TECHNIQUE: for connecting up your heart and your mind –
Put the palm of one hand on your forehead with the tips lightly touching
the "baby’s soft spot" at the top of your head and leave your hand there
Lay the other hand on your heart.
Hold for a couple of minutes. You can then bring an upset to mind – this
technique can often help relieve the upset and/or provide insights.
If 1 and 2 does not help, then "drum" with both hands (using the flat
pads of the fingertips of both your hands) around your thymus area (on the
breastbone, about halfway between heart and collarbone). Use whatever rhythm
and tapping that feels good/right to you. Do this for about two minutes to
"wake up" your body and heart connections. Then try 1 and 2 above again.
Rock! No, not the music! Nancy Watson, of the Rochester (New York)
School of Nursing, found that nursing home patients who used rocking
chairs from ½ to 2½ hours per day over six weeks reported less emotional
distress, fewer requests for pain medication, and improved balance.
18 things we can learn from a dog:
- Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
- Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure
ecstasy.
- When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
- When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience.
- Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.
- Take naps and stretch before rising.
- Run, romp and play daily.
- Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
- Be loyal.
- Never pretend to be something you’re not.
- If what you want is buried, dig until you find it.
- When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle.
- Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
- Avoid a bite when a simple growl will do.
- On hot days, drink plenty of water and lie under a shady tree.
- When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
- Delight in the simple joy of taking a walk.,
- No matter how often you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and
pout….run right back and make friends.
TECHNIQUE: Your PERIPHERAL VISION is directly related to pain control as
well as confidence and happiness and even helps with the release of
emotions. If you have time, please practice the following simple and subtle
but powerful technique in the interim period. It takes hardly any time and
is truly valuable.
Most of the time we are only looking at one point in a focused way and
the rest of the view is "soft" focus, much like the background to some
portraits. It is only when our attention goes to any part of the scene
within our field of view that the brain focuses on it.
Most of the time we do not look at ALL we are seeing but only a very
small portion of the view. Discoveries have been made which show that we can
use the part of our field of view which we are not looking at (our
peripheral vision) to control pain and also to raise our self confidence and
happiness levels.
There is a specific point in each person's vision which can help to
control pain and also helps with release of emotions. For most people it is
somewhere in the upper left hand quadrant but each of you will need to
experiment to find your individual point. Once you have found your "set
point", it will always be the same point for you.
First focus on a pain in the body and touch it. Then look straight ahead
and let your eyes go into soft focus. Put the fingertips of your other hand
into your field of peripheral vision at your "set point" - be aware of your
fingertips in the peripheral vision area but don't shift the direction in
which your eyes are pointing.
Do this for a few minutes and then re-evaluate the pain. It can often
diminish by up to 80%. Once you have found the point in your peripheral
vision, it is always in the same place, so you don't have to wave your
fingers in the air again to locate it (unless you forget where it is). You
should always touch where the pain is, to bring the body's attention to what
you are doing and where, when you are using this technique.
The real spin off of peripheral vision is that it somehow boosts your
confidence/esteem/acceptance of self and thus your happiness levels. The
more you practice expanding your peripheral vision, the more relaxed your
body becomes and the freer you feel. Do it when you go for a walk,
especially in places in nature, and when you are relaxed at home.
Practice daydreaming at the same time as you look into any part of the
non-focused area in front of you and you become more and more aware of what
is going on in your periphery. Look wherever you wish, but consciously work
at increasing the range of your vision.
Regular daily small doses of happiness will measurably reduce your
chances of developing heart disease, cancer and almost all other illnesses,
and will guarantee a longer life. The powers of the mind have been overrated
by some health practitioners - the well-meaning but shortsighted and harmful
outlook that blames a person's illness on unexpressed anger, a bad attitude
or the need to please).
However, the role of the mind in health is often underrated by
conventional medicine. The evidence that mental stress negatively impacts
health is abundant and the evidence that peace of mind, meditation and
directed imagery can enhance health is growing. Your body minds your mind,
responding to what you feel, think, and want.
But if your mind does not mind your body - if your will, intentions, and
actions are not aligned with your body's requirements - you pay a toll in
health and happiness.
TECHNIQUE: This is a 5 minute, very low-tech procedure which has been
proved by a very high-tech research facility in the Santa Cruz mountains in
California (using ECGs) to have far reaching health benefits including
increasing longevity. It is almost like a panacea, there is hardly anything
it doesn’t help.
It is called "Heart Maths" by kinesiologists and works like this: think
of something or someone you appreciate (present or past – even a flower will
do). Then physically touch where your heart is and then send that same
feeling of appreciation to your heart. They tried other emotions like
love/gratitude/etc but nothing worked quite as well as appreciation.
Continue for five minutes daily and it is possible to feel euphoric! Part
of the effect is that the resulting higher serotonin levels in the brain
help clear stress chemicals and also increase feelings of peace and
wellbeing. Happiness has been shown to increase the immune cells and boost
our entire immune system.
It is even more effective when practiced on a nature walk.
Here are "12 Happy Findings about Health Risks"
taken from "The Pleasure Prescription" by Paul Pearsall :
- Don’t worry about the most commonly used medical test results. Low blood
pressure and cholesterol levels are NOT the best predictors of health and
longevity.
- Don’t worry about the impact of negative events in your life. Pleasurable
experiences have much more powerful health effects than negative experiences
and can negate most of the effects of health experiences. In addition, you
NEED the challenges of life to be able to appreciate the gifts of being
alive.
- Don’t worry unduly about the stress in your life. You need stress to
live. It is too much non-remitting stress that you need to take ruthless
steps to remove.
- Don’t worry so much about your diet. Dieting isn’t good for you, no diet
works for long. Some fat, sugar and cholesterol are essential for life. As
much, or more so than WHAT you eat, joyful eating with people you care about
produces healthy nutritional benefits.
- Watch, but don’t worry about the symptoms. Most illnesses go away in a
few days, some illness is essential if your immune system is healthy. In
fact, a properly cared for fever (provided no antibiotics are taken) can
lead to better health. Most symptoms should not be relieved too quickly –
the immune system is strengthened and develops new defences by encountering
and defeating illnesses such as measles and chicken pox. (The old fashioned view that it was good to expose children to other
infected children was developed from long experience. A runny nose, slight
fever and hearty cough all serve important and essential healing functions.
Almost all common illnesses are self-regulating.)
- Don’t worry about being a little depressed. Unhappiness is not an
illness. While chronic deep depression needs professional help, some
depression can be a healthy balance in our lives. Life lives us in cycles.
- Don’t worry about your body image. How you are shaped is mostly beyond
your control. Tuning into and enjoying your body is more healthy than
worrying about its shape.
- Don’t worry about getting old. Studies show that the older we get the
happier we get. So stop trying to satisfy your "inner child" and start
developing your inner elder. On the day of his hundredth birthday George
Burns offered his secret of long life. He said "Don’t worry about getting
old, just get up. Have something that makes you want to get out of bed."
- Don’t worry about getting enough exercise. Intense exercise is not
necessary for good health or long life. The "no pain, no gain" approach is
counterproductive to fitness. A half-hour of walking swimming or other
enjoyable exercise with another person several times a week is enough.
- Don’t worry about being rushed sometimes but make sure you aren’t
constantly too busy to enjoy the simple pleasures of daily living.
- Don’t worry about your heart. It is the strongest muscle in your body and
unless denied a daily dose of delight it does not weaken with age. Most
people who have some of the major heart attack risk factors will never have
a heart attack but it is not wise to press your luck and abuse your body
regularly.
- Don’t worry if you missed your annual physical exam. The periodic health
exam was introduced over 80 years ago but there is as yet no strong data to
show that it is effective. There isn’t even any clear evidence that any of
the tests like pap smears, mammograms, prostate and rectal exams make a
difference.
TECHNIQUE (from Paul Wilson’s book "Instant Calm") Feng-chih
There are two significant acupressure points at the base of the skull
(the occipital ridge) which if pressed not only relieve tension in the neck
and shoulder area but can induce a great feeling of calm.
How do you find them? Place your hands over the back of your skull so
that your thumbs touch approximately at the level of the top of your spinal
column. Feel for the base of your skull with your thumbs.
Slide your thumbs outward (away from your vertebrae) along the skull
bone. When your thumbs are about 5 centimetres (2 inches) apart, you will
feel a ridge, a sensitive spot. Press on this, you will feel a dull pain.
Now you are in the right area.
Whether to ease a tension headache or to produce a feeling of relaxation,
simply apply an upward pressure with your thumbs against both of those
points. When you are applying the correct amount, you will feel a little
pain. If you are extremely tense there could be quite a bit of discomfort.
Persevere and maintain the pressure for about 20 seconds longer if you can
stand it. Then slowly ease off.
Repeat this exercise several times until your muscles relax. This is a
technique you can either do yourself or have someone assist you with.
TECHNIQUE: "Thymus Thump". It has only been realised in the last decade
or two how valuable the thymus gland is in the immune system and activating
it not only boosts health but also happiness.
First place your hand just above your heart, about halfway between the
heart and the neck, right on the breastbone. Then make a fist and thump that
spot lightly, about 20 times. At the same time, you smile. Not just any old
smile but a big grin, which crinkles your eyes. And you also put your tongue
on the roof of your mouth, just behind your upper teeth.
There is a physiological reason for each one of these three steps.
Thumping the thymus stimulates it manually. Smiling releases brain
endorphins. The Chinese have known for thousands of years that placing the
tongue in this centering position balances the two brain hemispheres, so you
think better and feel better.
Your body DOES NOT immediately go into an euphoric state of bliss. It
doesn’t work like that and you aren’t meant to suddenly feel blissful. If
only! But every time you do this, the chemical structure of your body is
being changed for the better and mild natural relaxants are being sent
through it, which will gradually begin to lighten your mood. So the more
often you do this, the longer and stronger it will hold.
All the techniques I teach work like this. They are very subtle but
surprizingly powerful. The more you learn to monitor your body, to live
below your neck rather than only in your head, the more clearly you will
notice the body changes as you use this technique.
In trials in San Francisco and Eastern Finland, of the nearly 20,000
people observed for up to nine years, those who were lonely and socially
isolated were two to three times more likely die from heart disease and
other causes than those who felt connected to others. These results occurred
independently of risk factors such as high cholesterol levels or high blood
pressure, smoking and family history. (Am J Epidemiol 1979 & 1988)
It appears that whilst smoking, obesity, a sedentary lifestyle and
high-fat diet are important risk factors, they only account for half of all
heart disease. Nothing appears to be more important than isolation – from
other people, from our own feelings and from a higher source.
It seems that lifestyle and what you eat doesn’t have as much to do with
heart disease as a lack of love. It seems that you really can die of a
broken heart.
SACK OF POTATOES (author unknown)
One of my teachers had each one of us bring a clear plastic bag and a
sack of potatoes. For every person we'd refuse to forgive in our life
experience, we were told to choose a potato, write on it the name and date,
and put it in the plastic bag. Some of our bags, as you can imagine, were
quite heavy.
We were then told to carry this bag with us everywhere for one week,
putting it beside our bed at night, on the car seat when driving, next to
our desk at work.
The hassle of lugging this around with us made it clear what a weight we
were carrying spiritually, and how we had to pay attention to it all the
time to not forget, and keep leaving it in embarrassing places.
Naturally, the condition of the potatoes deteriorated to a nasty slime.
This was a great metaphor for the price we pay for keeping our pain and
heavy negativity! Too often we think of forgiveness as a gift to the other
person, and it clearly is for ourselves!!
So the next time you decide you can't forgive someone, ask
yourself...isn't your bag heavy enough?
TECHNIQUE: There is a direct connection between relationships and health
– studies have found that a half-hour of gentle walking or swimming or some
other enjoyable exercise shared with another person several times a week is
enough to start you on the road back to health – as well as giving a boost
to your happiness levels.
This technique can help partners find balance around disagreements. When
the disagreement starts – or at any time during - either stand or sit facing
each other, about an arm’s length apart. Using whichever hand feels
comfortable, one of you continually draws a sideways figure 8 (the infinity
sign) between your two hearts - make the sign in the air between you with
the whole of one hand. This can be done either of two ways - with the upward
curves signed in the outwards direction (most people find this way works
best for them) or the other way. We are all very individual, so use
whichever way feels right to you.
If one of your hands get tired, you can change to the other if it feels
right or your partner can continue making the infinity sign between your two
hearts until you feel some kind of resolution or feel like stopping. Then
sit quietly for a minute or so. Then gently explore the disagreement with
each other and see if there has been any change.
That’s all it is! Whilst doing this procedure, some people can feel a
tingling or a light shiver or some other sign of energy moving in their
bodies – others do not. It seems to work either way but be prepared to try
it at least three times, even if you think you feel nothing initially.
Actually, the hardest part of this technique is usually releasing enough
of the resentment or anger that you are hugging so tightly, so that you can
sit with each other and do it! Note: this technique can be used between any
two people to help resolve disagreements of any kind.
Little known points to ponder:
Those who score high on "mental health" actually have MORE illusions than
others. In other words, Pollyanna MUST have been very, very healthy! Some of
the most common illusions of the mentally healthy are: * overly positive
views of themselves * convenient ‘forgetting’ of negative facts about
themselves * ‘unrealistic’ optimism about themselves * ‘unrealistic’
optimism about the future in general *‘abnormal’ cheerfulness. So do you
want to have those kinds of ‘illusions’ or would you rather stick to hard
realism and die sooner than the deluded fools?
Anthony Robbins points out that if we wanted to feel completely happy,
even ecstatic, right now, we could easily do so – we can do this just by
changing our focus! Remember a time when you felt absolutely on top of the
world? Picture it all in vivid detail, use imagery to breath..., move...,
hear..., and feel...., the same way. Do you feel even a hint of that
excitement again?
If you can, then it is possible to feel this way by choice – some people
have never had something like this pointed out to them and it can be
valuable to know. there are actually unlimited ways of perceiving and
experiencing anything in life. Any sensation is available at any time, by
changing channels.
And actually, there are two ways to do this – the first is the Anthony
Robbins type procedure of forcing yourself by will power to shift your
mental focus: for example, think of one of your most treasured memories
[take a minute here - bring it to your mind and just feel it and sense it]
How does that make you feel? What else could you focus on that would make
you feel happy?
One of the surest secrets of happiness is to learn to relax when you feel
down or stressed, - having faith that the low period and accompanying
feelings will pass if you do nothing. All this DOES work and, when you are
in a state where you can bring yourself to do this, it is worth doing
regularly in order to start changing old habits of thinking.
Changing focus like this is only one way to change your emotional state.
Another and quicker, more powerful way is to use your physical body, or your
physiology. For example, when most people don’t like the way they feel they
drink alcohol, eat, smoke, sleep, use drugs or they use positive strategies
such as dancing, singing, exercising or making love.
An elevated mood, one of happy expectation or hope, can protect against
certain viruses. The cold virus uses the same receptors as norepinephrine –
a molecule that flows in happy states of mind – to enter the cell. If you
are happy then the virus cannot enter the cell because the norepinephrine
blocks all the potential virus receptors.
"Blessing" is also a protection – that’s the underlying reason for the
tradition of saying "Bless you" when people sneeze! It helps to protect the
blesser as well as the blessed.
The secret to happiness is to feel it as often as possible every day.
Research has shown that the happiest people do not report an occasional
fantastic high but rather that they are a little happy a lot of times every
day. One way to boost happiness levels and to exercise the intention to be
happy is by doing little things throughout the day. It is now well known
that higher serotonin levels in the brain increase feelings of peace and
wellbeing. Here are 10 ways to be happier by increasing serotonin levels.
- All relaxing forms of exercise, particularly something like a walk in
nature.
- Whenever you think of it, slow down as much as you can. Pleasure varies
inversely with speediness. Bill Harvey in his book Mind Magic suggests we
take thoughts and actions one at a time and lovingly polish each moment. His
tip is to enjoy each second "as if it were your last on Earth but you’re
going someplace better next".
- Some kinds of music: listening to peaceful, gentle music especially
Baroque music like Bach, Handel, Pachelbel and Vivaldi (such as Handel's
Water Music and Vivaldi's Four Seasons). They have been found to balance
pulse and blood pressure, slow down brain waves and relax muscles. These
composers use very specific beats and patterns that automatically
synchronize our minds with our bodies. In experiments plants grew lusher and
larger and even leaned towards the music as if towards the sun when baroque
music was played to them. These same plants shrivelled and died when acid
rock music was played.
- Surround yourself with your favourite colours.
- Give yourself and others permission to be silly - have a water fight,
tickle your partner, draw a picture with crayons/markers, wear an outrageous
hat or outrageous colours together. When you laugh, your brain chemistry
actually changes and this in turn has a positive effect on every system in
your body.
- Plan for fun everyday - don't leave fun to chance. George Burns said "You
don’t stop playing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop
playing. Keep laughter, a playful attitude and fun activities in your life
every day."
- Take time for yourself – do something you never seem to allow yourself
time for but miss doing. Write in a journal, read a book, get a massage,
call a friend. Experiment with the 'good life' - it may take some time to
find out what kind of 'treats' work for you.
- Keep lots of books and videos around that are either inspiring or
funny and dip into them regularly.
- Keep a pet. Studies have found that this can be the single most important
difference in the mental health of older people. Those who have a cat or
dog, for example, tend to be in noticeably better health than those who
don’t.
- Just telling yourself you are going to have "a good day" sets off
chemical/electrical triggers in your brain which affect your mental state,
which in turn affects how you think. It is a self-generating cycle. The
negative cycle is not caused by the problem or event that appeared to set it
off - the cycle begins with how you RESPOND to the problem in the first
place.
TECHNIQUE: whenever you do feel uplifted and joyful – this technique
enables you to store joy in your body so that eventually you can access it
more or less at will. It is subtle, like most bodywork techniques, but can
be really wonderful:
Using two fingers of either hand tap your third eye (between your
eyebrows) about ten times. Keep doing that whenever you access a truly
joyful state.
Do this at least 50 times and of course keep on doing this whenever you
do feel a "natural high". Eventually, you will be able to access that joyful
state almost any time you desire by tapping that same way – even if you feel
"down" just then.
TECHNIQUE:
Lie on your back and pant rapidly to the count of 20. (Each
exhale-inhale cycle counts as one, not as two.) Panting means
breathing rapidly through your mouth, as forbidden by
almost all
experts on health, but this is only an exercise, not a full-time
practice.
When you reach 20,
stop and resume nose-breathing, in the
slow, rhythmic manner recommended by yogis, to the count
of 20. Then repeat the panting to the
count of 20. Then repeat proper
yoga breathing.
Like opiate use, this technique seems to trigger neuro-transmitters
similar to mother's milk; i.e., it takes you back to the snug security of
breast-feeding. And it is not addictive.
END NOTE
We can choose to manage stress generally at either of these two levels -
the curative level (treating symptoms) or the preventative level (treating
causes). The first approach is generally dependant on external factors - you
use drugs, of one kind or another, to reduce the symptoms of stress.
Such medical treatment can be quite effective in quickly reducing or
removing the symptoms but it only works temporarily. It is like putting ice
into a pot of boiling water in order to cool it. This will bring down the
temperature of the water but only temporarily if the fire below the pot
continues to burn and heat the water. The temperature will only come down
and stay down when the fire, the cause of the heat, is extinguished.
By addressing the causal level, thereby changing perceptions or
attitudes, you can prevent underlying stress; whereas you can never fully
control or orchestrate external events, you can control your attitudes
towards them.
When a stone is thrown at a glass window and the glass breaks, what is
the cause of the breakage? The spontaneous or obvious response to such a
question would be "the throwing of the stone". This is only partially true.
You could say that the real cause of the brittleness or weakness of the
glass.
If the glass was strong or unbreakable (even bullet-proof), it would not
break. Depending on how we choose to live our lives, we often have a lot of
stones thrown at us. You may do whatever you can to prevent or minimise
this, by "managing" the outside world. However, your efforts will be
severely constrained. You have a much greater opportunity and potential to
strengthen your "glass" – your self – and reduce its vulnerability to
breakage.
The simplest way to begin to do this is to become aware of the amount and
quality of tension that you experience during the course of a typical day.
The next step is to learn concepts and processes or exercise that help you
to remove these tensions and give you an experience of biological rest.
If you continually practice the techniques provided here, you will
gradually begin to experience a strong, confident and "centred" self. Once
consolidated, the emergent flow of positive energy leads ultimately to what
can be described as a "creative" level of working and living.
The word "creative" is used here in a very broad sense. It does not mean
merely "creative problem-solving" but the ability to be aware of, have
access to, and actualise your full potential as a human being. This entire
process becomes an agreeably accelerating upwards spiral.
Part of the process includes improving EQ or emotional intelligence. In
brief this means constructive or positive thinking – clearing old belief
systems so you can think in a different way. This is useful both personally
and professionally and most people are perfectly capable of using their EQ
but just don’t do it, usually because they do not appreciate its value.
Growing EQ takes practice and commitment – and it requires a very
different model of learning to traditional learning and training. The
classroom model, going to a lecture, going to one-day seminars, hearing
about it, is simply not enough.
The emotional brain learns very differently from the thinking brain.
Since it learns through practice, shaping itself through repeated
experience, the continuous support that coaching provides is often
invaluable. Generally, three months is the minimum time for a noticeable
change of behaviour and attitude.
Apart from the one-off miraculous, epiphany-type events, the only way is
to deliberately choose to create new habits. This is just like going to the
gym. You do not expect to develop your muscles after just one visit. You
expect that you will have to go to the gym several times a week for several
months before seeing satisfactory results. You also expect that you will
have to continue going to the gym if you want to retain this new fitness.
In just the same way, you have to practice new ways of thinking over and over again, just like creating a new footpath involves
walking the new route repeatedly and regularly. The experiential mind, the
mind that is involved in changing ways of thinking, is slow to change.
Logic has no bearing. You cannot just talk people out of their fears.
However, beliefs can be changed over time, with repetition, in the same way
as muscles can be developed by repeatedly lifting weights.
Just as those who invest in a personal trainer or a buddy who also wants
to work out at the gym are more successful in the long term in getting and
staying fit, those who invest in a coach (for their personal and/or work
life) or form a long-term "EQ relationship" with a buddy who is equally
committed to improve constructive thinking are the most likely to create
noticeable improvements.
STRESSBUSTERS